Alone With Multiple Sclerosis

If ministry work has taught me anything, it is that this world can be a very lonely place. Even though we have more ways to connect through technology than ever before, the world can be a very lonely place. When you have a disease like Multiple Sclerosis it seems to magnify those issues at times. My wife and I were talking the other day about how our world revolves around the times that we eat. We seem to have a lot of our social time with other adults during meal times, which can become very difficult if you are following Swank's MS diet or are trying to eat very carefully. My wife has been looking into a holistic nutrition school that teaches about whole body nutrition from cooking to preparing to how our bodies absorb and use the food. While she and I were talking about this school it took us back to the times when she was following the Swank MS diet very closely. We rarely could eat out due to the restrictions, so we cooked almost every meal and wouldn't have very many opportunities to go out and eat with anyone. Sometimes this was a very lonely place to be, especially when our friends were meeting and eating together.

Loneliness seems to be one of the most difficult things to deal with concerning MS. Multiple Sclerosis affects everyone in a little different way, and when fatigue or an attack is happening, life just shuts down while your body is trying to fight its way back to normal. I know that my wife has felt like she is the only one in the world with the issues she has, and has become depressed from these moments. Sometimes I think the emotional damage done by Multiple Sclerosis is worse than the physical damage for my wife. She has had a whole range of emotions from anger to sadness to loneliness to feeling depressed. My wife has been very fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends that support and love her very much, but sometimes it isn't enough and she becomes very frustrated with the whole MS thing. Sometimes she would just like to be able to go out and run as hard and fast as she can and not have to worry about her body warring against her and having an attack. Sometimes she would like to push herself to the limit knowing that she can just get some sleep and everything will be OK, but there have been too many attacks from pushing herself to the limit that she has to hold back.

One thing we have learned from this blog is that we are not alone, that there are others out there dealing with the same issues as us. We have found kindred spirits that are fighting this disease with everything they have, and trying to live life fully. We are not alone, and I hope that this blog has shown those reading it that they are not alone. My wife and I know what it feels like to have to cancel everything because MS won the battle for that day. My wife and I know what it feels like to have to make life decisions based on how the career, home, climate etc. will affect her MS. We know what it feels like to have the pressure on our marriage of MS, to have to dig deep sometimes to not become frustrated at each other because of what kind of day my wife is having. I know what it is like to be alone as a husband and father because MS has sidelined my wife for a short time, and she knows what it is like to miss out on life because she is laid up in bed recovering. Through all of it, we are not alone, and neither are you! MS has made us stronger in our marriage, stronger as individuals and stronger as a family. Please don't ever feel alone in this battle, and please feel free to write us if you need an encouraging word or just need to vent. You are not alone!

Foot Cramps With Multiple Sclerosis

My wife's Multiple Sclerosis has thrown a lot of different symptoms at us, and this summer has not been any different. Part of the way through the summer my wife started to have cramps in her feet. It started with the tops of her feet feeling tight, and she was able to stretch them and relieve the pain. After days of walking, the feet tightened more and more and the tops of her feet hurt more and more. At one point, the only way to relieve the pain was to put her feet up and not move. If she moved her feet any direction, the pain would become extreme. She couldn't walk for a few days due to the pain.

We weren't really sure what to do or how long the pain would last, but we knew for sure that she had to rest. She worked through the pain for a few days and then the pain put her in bed. It really worried me since we hadn't dealt with this issue before, but after a few days of rest, the pain started to subside and she could move her feet. We are still not sure what happened and I know my wife hopes that it doesn't happen again, but with MS you just never know how you will feel tomorrow or even later today. Multiple Sclerosis causes pain in so many different ways, and continues to surprise us with where it attacks.

Summer Of Ups and Downs With MS

This summer we traveled for almost 4 straight weeks. It started with my wife going numb on her right side, from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. We were in Albuquerque and were able to see our Chiropractor, so we were able to resolve the issue and she had all the feeling back within a few days. It still amazes me that the Chiropractor can stop an MS attack and reverse it. I would have never believed it if I haven't seen it work so many times now. So, we drove thousands of miles, covering around 12 states and staying in hotels all over to arrive back home a few weeks ago. The trip involved a ton of walking, standing, heat, stress and a host of other issues, but my wife did pretty good for starting out numb.

We are still learning about my wife's MS even after her being diagnosed 20 years ago. This trip showed us once more that it is so important to plan rest time and healthy habits to keep my wife's body working properly. There were times on the trip that she had to skip activities because she just couldn't handle the stress. She sat in the suburban with the A/C on while we fished one day, and chose not to go when I had to run the Children's Home booth during some of the events. Her MS slowed her down, but didn't stop her from enjoying the time on the road and all the great things we were able to do. Even when we arrived back at home, she chose to stay instead of going to Church Camp with my daughter and I. That was probably a smart decision since I barely kept up with the lack of sleep, ton of walking and the heat.

There were times this summer when I wondered if my wife would leave the hotel room, and other times when I couldn't keep up with her stride. It still fascinates me that she can have so many issues one day and wake up the next feeling fine. Multiple Sclerosis is such an odd disease. We are still searching for answers and watching the Liberation Treatment with some hope and excitement. Hopefully this year will be a year of discoveries for MS and we can come one step closer to my wife living a more normal life. For now, we face each day with hope and my wife is even taking some college classes in the Fall. She's nervous, but excited to get back to learning and growing. MS may have beat her up some this summer, but it can't hold her back from living life to the fullest!

Tingling, Numb and Frustrated With MS

I wrote about my wife falling a few days ago and I have been worried ever since that it would cause other issues. Well, it has. We left town this past week to go to Albuquerque, NM, and after the first night we were there, my wife woke up tingling and numb on her right side. From her right toes to the top of her head, her whole right side had decided to lose feeling. Luckily we were near our Chiropractor, Dr. Kevin Atchley, and he was able to get us in for an adjustment. By the time we went to his office, my wife was limping and having issues getting her right side to function properly. She couldn't stand for very long, and had no energy. Dr. Atchley adjusted her that afternoon and she immediately began to feel a wave of "feeling" come into her arm and hand. Within a few hours she started to have more and more feeling come back, but by the next morning she was still not back to normal. Dr. Atchley saw us again, and was able to adjust her more thoroughly and again she started to feel the waves of feeling coming back.

By that afternoon, the feeling in her arm and hands was almost all the way back and she wasn't limping anymore because her leg and foot was behaving better. We are now in Red River, NM, and she still has some faint tingling on her right side, and is still having energy issues, but she isn't limping and has walked quite a bit around town without issues. She has been resting everyday, and is regaining the feeling more and more everyday. One of the odd things with this particular attack has been the numb feeling on the side and top of her head. Her head literally hurt from the issues this time, and she was very frustrated with it the first few days. Now, the feeling is back and the pain is gone, but we were very lucky that the numbness was on the side of her head and didn't move to her face.

I had a feeling that she would have issues like this after the fall last week, and I know she is extremely frustrated that she has missed out on things while we are in the mountains. Anytime she has had a "shock" to her body, like a fall or a physically demanding incident, she has almost always had some kind of after "shock". Sometimes it is tingling or numbness, and sometimes it is fatigue or bladder issues. This time she went numb really fast. Normally it takes days, but this time she went to bed fine and woke up numb on her right side. I know it scared her how quickly it happened this time, and we will be watching over the next few weeks to see if she continues to get better. We were very lucky that it happened in a place and time where we could get in to see our Chiropractor and get adjusted. I truly feel that Chiropractic has stopped and reversed her MS attacks, and has made living with this disease a lot more manageable.

Tripping and Falling With MS

Today I had another scare with my wife. We were walking into Hobby Lobby after lunch and I was ahead of my wife and daughter. I stepped up on the curb and a few steps later I heard someone hit the concrete behind me. I turned around quickly and found my wife face first on the concrete sidewalk. She is not sure exactly what happened, but she fell and rolled hard on the ground. As soon as I turned around my daughter immediately helped her up and she was ready to move on and not cause a scene. She was embarrassed and hurting, and didn't want to stick around to see who saw her fall. I tried to make sure she was OK, but I knew that she probably wouldn't say much as she was trying to compose herself. She grabbed a basket when we walked in so she could use it as support and walked into the store.

She has a few bumps and bruises, but overall is doing well tonight. Her side and leg is hurting from falling on it, and her arm is a little scraped up, but I think it scared me as much as it hurt her. She said she was not sure if she missed the curb or her leg, or foot, or knee gave out, but the next thing she knew she was rolling on the concrete. This is not the first time this has happened, and it always seems to happen when we are walking somewhere in public. A few years ago this happened fairly often, but it hasn't been a problem for awhile. Today I think we were both taken by surprise at how quickly she fell.

The hard part about this isn't just the physical part, but the emotional part of the disease. Our daughter was pretty distressed after her mom fell today. She was attached to my wife at the hip at first, and my wife had to tell her to back off and give her some space. I know it is hard on our daughter to watch her mom struggle and especially hard when she sees her hurt. Today concerned me too. It stresses me when she falls or has issues like this because it usually doesn't stop for awhile. The fall she took today could cause her to have other physical issues since it jarred her body so hard. Sometimes the effect of a fall like this will last for days if not weeks. We will have to be careful the next few days and with a three week trip ahead, we may have to find a chiropractor to check her alignment after the fall.

MS Is A Pain In The Neck

I find myself wondering what new weird symptom can pop up with my wife's MS. We have been dealing with this crazy disease for years, and have seen a lot of different symptoms that may be associated with her MS, but there always seems to be some new symptom lurking around the corner. My wife has had the issues with the electrical shock shooting down her spine as I know many MS'ers have, but she has had a new problem lately. About a week ago she started having issues with the right side of her neck. Her gland was really swollen and her neck really hurt from the pressure the swollen gland caused. When she would turn her head many times she would feel a pinching in her neck and would have to try and keep her neck still.

Along with this problem has come another strange issue. Her whole right side has felt funny since the gland issue has started, and her right shoulder has had soreness and pain. Her right side feeling funny is nothing new, but the shoulder pain is a new issue that we don't remember happening before. Sometimes the pain shoots from her shoulder blade and sometimes the pain shoots from her collarbone. When it happens, she has to stop because it really takes her breath away and she has to really concentrate to begin to feel better. She has been having cramps in her shoulder blades forever, but the shooting pain and the collarbone are new. Not sure what all is causing this, but I know the massage therapist commented on how wrecked her shoulder area is and how hard it is to get her body to loosen up.

I wish that was everything that was going on, but she has had another past villain show up. Under her arm she has an area that is extremely sensitive, and reminds her of shingles. She has had shingles multiple times before and many times it is in the armpit area. This is extremely uncomfortable for her, and it seems to come and go. So, she is having the cramps and pains in her shoulder and collarbone, and then she can't move her arm much because of the sensitivity issue. What a life it has been lately. She is doing much better the last few days, and I think we are past the main issues this time around. We are about to go on a 4 week trip to areas of the US setting up displays, so maybe we can find some time to just relax and rest. I know it would do both of us a lot of good.

Light Headed With Multiple Sclerosis

My wife and I are currently on a work trip to gather groceries from churches for our Children's Home. The average temperature per day is around 100 degrees, and my wife has had periods of time where she feels light headed and dizzy. It doesn't always happen with the heat, but the heat does seem to make it worse. The last few days we have been in and out of the vehicle loading groceries in our trailer. When she gets out and gets overheated, her body begins to shut down and she becomes light headed. She also starts to feel dizzy and has to cool off quick or have issues with needing to vomit.

A few weeks ago she went through a day or two that she felt like she was getting vertigo again. It really frustrated her since she hasn't had vertigo issues in years. She spent those few days in bed resting and trying to keep food and water down. We are not sure where all of this is coming from, but know that stress is a huge factor in it. The feeling of being light headed has really bother her since it is really affecting her day to day activities. We know that stress and a lack of rest are not helping with this, so we are taking some extra time now to allow her some downtime and time to de-stress.