Thursday, November 4, 2010

Multiple Sclerosis And Marriage

Today marks our fifteenth anniversary. It honestly feels like we just got married and were heading off into the world together, and what an adventure it has been. We have had our ups and downs, but one thing I have learned is that marriage is real work. You can't just hope it all works out, you have to be intentional about making your marriage work. There are times that I have to take a real look at how I am doing as a husband. Sometimes I feel like we are just going through the motions of marriage because we are so busy and exhausted with our daily lives. Sometimes we need some time apart, and sometimes we need to spend some quality time together. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what's important in life and what our priorities should be, and sometimes we need to be reminded of how truly blessed we are to have the life we have.

Adding multiple sclerosis and marriage together really makes for an interesting mix. There are days that my wife's MS takes center stage because she is having an attack and we have to take immediate action. There are also days when her MS is no where to be found and life is as normal as it gets. For me her MS often becomes a challenge that I can learn about, figure out and try to solve the puzzle. There are other days that I just honestly wish it would go away and never be seen again. Lately we have been dealing more with MS frustrations than MS struggles. My wife's MS has been causing small frustrations like minor fatigue, joint pain, leg pain and other annoying things that really affect your day to day life. Some days she will wake up and feel great most of the day and then BAM!, it hits and she feels tired and exhausted and goes to bed early. Other days she wakes up weepy and crying and can't seem to control her emotions all day long.

Today is one of those days where she wants to feel great for our anniversary, but we have both had a stomach bug and are recovering so she is still weak from that and very emotional. She is at home in bed right now trying to sleep, but my guess is that she can't so she will be trying to do more than she should and not resting. As a wife, she is always trying to do for our daughter and me. She goes way above and beyond and sometimes pays for it in her health. She is an awesome mom and wife, and I know it frustrates her when her body doesn't cooperate and allow her to do what she wants. MS can get in the way of our marriage sometimes, but we can choose to focus on it or each other, and we choose each other. Multiple Sclerosis will never win out over love, and our love has grown for each other every year we have been married. Happy Anniversary honey, and I look forward to another 15 years of living life with you!