Thursday, November 4, 2010

Multiple Sclerosis And Marriage

Today marks our fifteenth anniversary. It honestly feels like we just got married and were heading off into the world together, and what an adventure it has been. We have had our ups and downs, but one thing I have learned is that marriage is real work. You can't just hope it all works out, you have to be intentional about making your marriage work. There are times that I have to take a real look at how I am doing as a husband. Sometimes I feel like we are just going through the motions of marriage because we are so busy and exhausted with our daily lives. Sometimes we need some time apart, and sometimes we need to spend some quality time together. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what's important in life and what our priorities should be, and sometimes we need to be reminded of how truly blessed we are to have the life we have.

Adding multiple sclerosis and marriage together really makes for an interesting mix. There are days that my wife's MS takes center stage because she is having an attack and we have to take immediate action. There are also days when her MS is no where to be found and life is as normal as it gets. For me her MS often becomes a challenge that I can learn about, figure out and try to solve the puzzle. There are other days that I just honestly wish it would go away and never be seen again. Lately we have been dealing more with MS frustrations than MS struggles. My wife's MS has been causing small frustrations like minor fatigue, joint pain, leg pain and other annoying things that really affect your day to day life. Some days she will wake up and feel great most of the day and then BAM!, it hits and she feels tired and exhausted and goes to bed early. Other days she wakes up weepy and crying and can't seem to control her emotions all day long.

Today is one of those days where she wants to feel great for our anniversary, but we have both had a stomach bug and are recovering so she is still weak from that and very emotional. She is at home in bed right now trying to sleep, but my guess is that she can't so she will be trying to do more than she should and not resting. As a wife, she is always trying to do for our daughter and me. She goes way above and beyond and sometimes pays for it in her health. She is an awesome mom and wife, and I know it frustrates her when her body doesn't cooperate and allow her to do what she wants. MS can get in the way of our marriage sometimes, but we can choose to focus on it or each other, and we choose each other. Multiple Sclerosis will never win out over love, and our love has grown for each other every year we have been married. Happy Anniversary honey, and I look forward to another 15 years of living life with you!

15 comments:

-Me said...

I hope you 2 have a very happy anniversary!

Cory said...

-Me, thanks for the comment. We had a great day!

Anonymous said...

Happy belated anniversary, God bless your marriage and love for one another...It bears all things,believes all things, hopes all things, ENDURES ALL things...
thank you for another great post.
God bless!!

Sunny said...

My fiancée has MS too and inspired with your story we are looking forward for a great married life,
as best as yours, Also we hope that we would able to come up from or manage all the odds of life by staying there together for each other..!!

Wish you both a happy anniversary!

Bob said...

My wife and I have been married for 26 years. So congratulations on 15 years together in marriage, and I pray that there will be many more!!

Though the MS is a challenge at times, we (Sue and I) know that there is no greater love then that of Jesus. I know Sue is going to have to battle MS for the rest of her life. I look forwards to those times when the MS isn't around those days we can enjoy our time together.

Peace and Grace
Bob

Anonymous said...

Just now went through your Blog.
I'm also a MS patient. Just a year old in my marriage.
Trying to learn and teach my wife about MS.
Yous Blog gave me a positive feel... Thanks.
And wish you body a happy time ahead.

-Vinit

@GNN said...

Wow! 50 years is amazing and you are a kind and loving husband

Stuff could always be worse said...

Yes it is interesting life with MS? Challenges!
kim

Tara Hoppie said...

Thanks for writing this blog. I just found it today, and reading it helps me not feel so alone in this. You are an amazing husband, and it sounds like you have an equally amazing wife. Thanks again.
-Tara

Kaveh said...

in my opinion love is the most important feeling that we have to cross the life's obstacles.i wish u all the best,the love

Have Myelin? said...

Happy Anniversary! =)

Anonymous said...

Wishing you both all the very best in life as a married couple:) and to your daughter.

Your blogs are very helpful &I'd like to thank you, I found this site fr browsing through Dr. Swank's page, & I just started reading your fr 2007... I found answers to my own MS questions, I have MS.

Britt Foodies said...

Your blog is such a blessing. I just found it yesterday. I am newly diagnosed with MS (Sept 2010) and it is a relief to see what is happening in someone elses life vs. journals, etc. Thanks for being open to sharing this part of your lives. I love your wife, even though I do not know her and will pray for your family!!

kmacmuth said...

I have been hunting for online assistance. I have MS and one of my symptoms is not remembering what has been said to me. I get so tired of having my husband say, "What did I just say?" when I am asking him something. If I don't remember he says I use my MS as an excuse. Help!

kmacmuth

Cory said...

Hey kmacmuth, my wife also has memory issues as you know from the blog. There are many times she has to ask and one of the things we have found to help is just rest. When she is stressed and not rested, the problem is worse, and after she takes time to rest she seems to do better. We have not found anything else that really helps, so is anyone else out there finding something else that help?