Should I Leave, My Wife Has MS?

I have analytics setup on this blog to track the posts that are most read and where the readers are coming from. I was checking them the other day and I noticed that someone found my blog by typing "should i leave, my wife has ms". This really struck me and I haven't been able to get it off of my mind since. After looking around the net the last couple of years I seem to come across men often that are trying to decide if they need to leave their wives after they are diagnosed with MS. I know how hard it is to deal with the physical limitations, the mood swings, the financial issues and all of the other things that come along with the disease, but I would never leave my wife because of a disease.

To the guy that wrote this, please stay with your wife! She needs you now more than ever. When I first met my wife she didn't tell me about the disease for awhile. She later told me that she kept it hidden because the men she had told before just checked out of the relationship. I didn't check out and it surprised her. Your wife needs your attention, love and affection more now than ever before. My wife has commented over the years that she is very fortunant because her family has been so supportive. Your wife needs that rock to lean on because she feels so vulnerable and helpless.

Is it stressful to live with someone that is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis? Sure it is. We paid on doctor bills for years after she was diagnosed, and we are always paying for treatments and doctors to help her. She is forgetful at times, moody at times, stressed at times, and can't give me the attention at times that she would like, but that doesn't make me love her any less. My wife knows that I stress about her and the disease, but she also knows that when she needs me, I will be there. One thing I have learned through all of this is that the word love is very skewed today. Love can mean all sorts of things. For instance, I love tacos or I love that music. Love is so much more than that. As a father, I love my daughter and would lay down my life for her. As a husband, I love my wife whether she is numb, can't walk, can't see, can't talk or is doing great. Love isn't conditional. If your love is conditional, then you've bought into a lie about what love is.

Please stay with your wife! Research the disease, and find out how you can help her. Go out of your way to be intentional about your life and arrange it to support her and let her know that you are there. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her. Give her massages to help with the pain, and be patient. It took me years to understand how the disease affected my wife, and in the beginning I didn't have a clue why she reacted the way she did at times. Now, I know, and it helps me to know what to do and what not to do to really support her. After 13 years of marriage, I wouldn't choose a different path. I have had to put aside selfishness and embrace hard times, and it has made me a better man. She will make you a better man if you will stay with her.