Balance of Life with Multiple Sclerosis

The last few weeks have been frustrating. My wife's MS has always affected the way we do things and we are used to changing things in our lives to accomodate the needs of her disease. We have changed jobs, moved to new places, tried different therapies and radically changed the way we live, but lately we have struggled to find balance in our lives. Her MS is not really causing any major problems right now, but it is the knowledge that it can hit at any time, to any degree, that really gets me. We really have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Lately we have been trying to figure out what our next step will be with our career and her health. I am currently helping my parents with their business and we know that we want to do something else. We have never shied away from taking control of our lives and making changes, even though we know that stress can have a negative affect on her MS.

I have been participating in MS forums lately, and I see all of the people out there that are hurting and trying to find answers. Some of these people have gone from great lives and careers, and now are on disability with little hope for a future. It really hurts me to see all of the pain and sadness, and especially the feeling of not being able to help. I have considered going back to school to study MS in some type of medical career or psychology, but I am just not sure what would help most, and what would fit my personality and our family. My wife's health has been OK lately, with small problems and fatigue, but we know that my current career is temporary while we try to piece together the next step.

So, we find our life at a constant flux with the knowledge that we will probably not be living in the same town or doing the same job a year or so from now. We are even considering home schooling so that we have more control over how much rest my wife can get in a day. Right now she is at home sleeping because she is just not getting enough rest. Trying to find a balance in life is so hard, with or without MS, but I feel more out of balance right now than I have in a long time. Along with helping my family, I am running another business and trying to help my wife with a business she has started. Sometimes it amazes me at how resilient and strong my wife is. She so badly wants to contribute financially to our family, and she isn't afraid to jump out there and try new things and push her limits, even thought she knows it could mean problems with her MS.

She started an all natural cleaning service a few years ago, but has recently taken it to the next step and is really pushing the business. She is doing great, and is actually having problems getting to all of the work because she is getting so many calls. This business has been great for her, and she does a wonderful job with her clients. With her business, and the two businesses I run, our lives are just too full. I guess it all comes back to our priorities in life, but I want to spend time with my daughter and wife, and I want to make sure my wife's health is taken care of. We will figure it out! I will decide on what the next step will be, and the MS in our lives will be there, but it will not rule the day. Sometimes I think our lives are complete chaos, but maybe that is balance for us. Maybe, just maybe we are most balanced when we are stretching and growing and living in spite of MS or any other inconveniences in life. Maybe we are in balance when we are totally out of balance, or maybe we just like to punish ourselves with so much stuff. :)