Today is the first time in my life that someone accused my wife of not pulling her load due to her MS. We have never dealt with this before and were very frustrated. It was a very interesting conversation because they couldn't give any specifics or times that it had caused them any extra work or issues, but they asked specifically whether this job was for her or not because of her MS. The ironic part of it all is that the person asking has had physical issues that have been an issue with his ability to work at our job.
Much of this accusation came out of ignorance of the disease. Most people that I have spoken with about the disease only know progressive cases and assume that my wife will be wheelchair bound or have major issues. As a spouse it is hard to watch someone speak out of ignorance when it directly affects your wife and family. My wife and I tried our hardest to control our tongue today and speak only things that would be helpful in the situation to educate, but neither one of us feel like the other couple understood. My wife's MS was an easy target and was used against us even though it hasn't affected her ability to do her job.
Our bosses, other co-workers, kiddos and others involved with our family know that my wife is awesome at her job. She has never had any negative comments from our bosses or anyone involved with our work. She not only pulls her weight, but she goes above and beyond in her actions and activities. It is hard when you have one co-worker that doesn't know you and makes assumptions about your health and abilities. So we now have to deal with something that is a false accusation that has to do with something as complicated as Multiple Sclerosis.
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3 comments:
Kudos to you and your lovely wife for keeping your heads held high. When people make false accusations such as this, it's usually due to their own insecurities, and as you said, "ignorance." It's hard to not let things like this get to you, so the best thing to do is to persevere and to keep doing what you both know you can do best.
Hi!
I can so relate to this blog post.
I have had more than one co worker, manager, accuse me of faking it to get out of work. That is partly due to the fact that I don't look sick and their own ignorance.
my worst experience was when my director told me that I always make excuses for everything (I was giving my opinions on why a lesson had not gone well, I'm a teacher BTW) I was so upset and angry because i had not told anyone except the headmaster at my school that I had MS and I actually tried very hard not to let it get in my way. After she found out she was VERY horrible and always saying things to my co workers like "Be careful what you ask Lise to do, she's sick you know" in a very hateful voice I might add! People can be so cruel sometimes!
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