Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tension In Life With MS

A few weeks ago we picked up a massage chair to see if it would help alleviate tension and stress in my wife's body. It has multiple settings and works your legs, feet, back and neck. We have used it often since acquiring it and I have seen a noticeable difference in my wife's tension in her shoulders and back. She carries a lot of her stress in her shoulder area, especially around her shoulder blades. When this tension increases, she usually will have a headache and feel tired.

A few years ago she would see a massage therapist weekly to relieve tension and stress. The massage therapist was phenomenal and helped my wife to feel better, have more energy and be able to live life more fully. We have tried to find another therapist with this skill and have not been able to do it. So we have tried other things and have been really surprised that the massage chair has helped as much as it has. We have wanted to buy one before but have not had the money. I even think that some doctors can give a prescription for the purchase of a chair to help with the costs, but we haven't been in a position to do it. We were fortunate because we didn't have to pay for the chair that we are using now.

Our family has had a very tension filled week, and we have spent a lot of time talking about where that tension is coming from and what we can do about it. Just with things that have happened this week we have been able to see that much of that tension comes from trying to control things we can't control, allowing ourselves to be controlled by outside influences, and generally allowing small things to matter more than they should. When we deal with these issues, we feel peace and feel the tension melt away. It always surprises me when I look back on stressful situations and see how much I have allowed those situations to control me. I have watched this week as my wife has let conversations roll off her back and how she hasn't allowed stress and tension to control her. She has been able to keep that tension and stress from causing her MS to flair.

As a spouse I can play a huge role in helping or hindering my wife's health. The better and stronger our relationship is, the more transparent we are and the less tension my wife feels she has to hold and keep to herself. In our marriage, I want to make sure she can talk to me about anything. For me that means that I need be an endless well of grace and mercy for her. She needs to feel safe, secure and know that I will love her no matter what. I have noticed that when I am not nurturing our relationship it can directly affect her health. We have so much to learn in our marriage and with our health, and this week has been real life experience in that journey.


Lanette said...

Hi Cory! Great blog you have here. I've introduced you to my blogging community on my blog and want to tell you I think it's great that you blog about your wife's MS. My husband is going to read your blog as well! Glad we found you! :-)

Tricia said...

I haven't had time to read much but wanted to say hello. I am also a spouse of someone with MS and have the fears, the worries, the uncertainty and the desire to not alarm my spouse with all that I know and see. I will be back to read more later but I wanted to say hello.