20 Hours

20 hours is how long my wife slept over the weekend. The insomnia, stress and our crazy life finally caught up with her. After falling on our trip to Thanksgiving and breaking a bone in her hand, we have both been very aware of the toll our current life is taking on her body and MS. On our trip back to Texas we were walking across a parking lot when a speed bump got the better of her. She thought she lifted her foot high enough, but it caught her foot and she wasn't able to react fast enough and hit the pavement. She hit the side of her face, bruised her shoulder, side and hip, and felt like she might have broken her hand.

After having her hand x-rayed, she found out she had a broken bone in her hand. Her body is still sore even this long after Thanksgiving, but it finally seems to be going away. In addition to her hand, we have been swamped with trying to take care of things at the children's home. This time of year is great for donors to think about us and support the Home, but that also means that we all have to work overtime to keep up with the groups that want to come to the Home. My wife has been the contact point for all of these groups and that has put a lot of extra stress on her. Since our Home is 100% privately supported by individuals that want to help kids, this time of year is vitally important and my wife is not one to hold back. She has been giving 110% and working everyday and most evenings.

Since Thanksgiving, we have only had a few days off so it has really stressed both of us. Her body began to show the stress through insomnia, fatigue, mood swings, brain fog and other issues. She kept the numbness away with regular massage and chiropractic, but the other symptoms weren't going away. So, over the weekend she laid down and slept for hours and hours. We know how important this is and are willing to shut down things when they need to so that she can let her body recover. She is doing much better today, and this week will be much less stressful. We are even planning on taking the whole last week of the month off to recover and take a break. This time of year is tough, and we are trying to be vigilant about resting, watching the stress and making sure we take care of our health.

Wife TKO'd Through Holidays

What a rough holiday season! My wife dealt with tingling, numbness, pain, bladder issues, fatigue and many other issues over the last few weeks. Today we are heading to see our Chiropractor to realign her body so we can start to make some progress on her symptoms. The last three days she hasn't been able to eat any solid foods due to stomach and bladder issues. We had some teen boys stay with us for a few days and her symptoms started as soon as we picked them up and still haven't completely gone away. It was hard for her to not be involved with them and have to stay close to home because of the issues. That was a recurring theme for our 09 holiday experience.

Holiday stress, poor eating, lack of rest and just pushing her body too hard sure hasn't helped my wife. It amazes me how MS takes full advantage when your body is worn down and you are stressed out. At one point during Christmas, my wife couldn't even enjoy her family because she was so worn out and fatigued. During another time she started feeling tingling around her torso and was worried that it was spreading and would go numb. The emotional roller coaster alone was frustrating during the past few weeks. This morning she is feeling better than she has in four or five days, but if she doesn't see the Chiropractor today and start to rest and eat properly, none of these symptoms are going to go away. She wasn't knocked out completely through the holidays, but she was knocked down a few times.

Holidays And Multiple Sclerosis

Thanksgiving is over and we have Christmas done with one side of our family. Every year I am amazed at the stress that the holidays cause for my family, and especially my wife. With the family visits come emotional stress, physical stress and mental stress. Trying to figure out what to buy and how much to spend, and then trying to make sure you don't upset anyone can become overwhelming. On top of that are all the normal family stressors. My wife and I are both people pleasers so this can be a very frustrating time if we aren't aware of our tendencies going into the holidays.

With my wife's MS, we have to be careful we don't overdo and try to "please" everyone for the holidays. We have to have a plan for the visits to our families and make sure she has a place to rest and recoup from all of the activity. We have to think through snacks and food items to take with us and have to choose what we are going to participate in while we are there. We can't be at everything and my wife can't stay up late the whole time there or we will be asking for problems. So, we miss some stuff and that's OK because she can enjoy the time she does spend with the family.

We have found that it is easier for us to set budgets so that we are not stressed about money. The more prepared we are with the gifts, money etc., the less stress we feel and the more we both enjoy our holidays. My wife also watches what she eats during this time because she knows there are some things that she cannot eat without consequences. She is also good about preparing for the stresses that come along with being around family. We have some family members that can stress both us out so we limit time around those family members and are aware when we start to "feel" the stress. It takes some effort to really plan out our holidays, but we have enjoyed them so much more when we take the time and really become proactive about eliminating stress the best we can.

This year we even purchased a smoked turkey and a cooked ham instead of worrying about cooking them. We eliminated as much cooking as possible and tried to prepare easy side dishes so that everyone could enjoy the fellowship instead of being stuck in the kitchen the whole time. We decided to make "movie" kits for our gifts for each family instead of individual gifts for all the kids and adults. This eliminated a lot of shopping and other issues and made the gift purchasing a quick and painless task. They loved the gifts and we loved putting them together. Overall this was an enjoyable Thanksgiving that had limited stress and my wife came through it without any issues.

Work Related Stress Affecting MS

Last night my wife was almost in tears. She had been working on a project for weeks that she just can't seem to find an end to. The project has shifted and changed since she started and every time she thinks she has a handle on it, it seems to fight back and she becomes frustrated. Last night she found herself struggling with emotions from weeks of work. When I went by to get her she was so tense that her stomach hurt, her head was beginning to hurt and her shoulders were so tense she physically hurt. We went out to eat and she wasn't even able to eat because her stomach was so upset from the stress. During these moments we have to really take a deep breath and realize that an MS attack will soon follow if we don't alleviate the stress of it all.

By the time we arrived at our house last night, she knew that it was only a matter of time before an attack. We have been through this sooooo many times in the past 15 years we have known each other. A stressor, which can be physical, mental or emotional, impacts my wife and within a matter of time she begins to have symptoms of MS. The symptoms may be pain, numbness, eyesight issues, sleep issues, fatigue, mood swings and many other issues that can come out within minutes, hours or days of the stressor. Last night we took the time to use heat, massage and rest to relieve the tension and this morning she is feeling pretty good. She took off this morning to try and finish the project, and we will continue to use stress relievers to help with the issue.

Legs Tingling, Bladder Problems And Feet Numb

This morning we woke up to a few issues. My wife found that her feet were completely numb, her legs were tingling and she was running to the bathroom way more often than she would have liked. We knew that we needed to act or it could become bad fast so we decided to plan a quick trip to Dr Atchley in Albuquerque, which is about three hours from where we were going to be. It's in these moments that I really miss living in a large city where you have resources available within minutes. We made our way to our first stop of the day, thinking that we would then need to head down the road to the Chiropractor. My wife turned on the seat warmers in the car and we drove about 30 minutes when my wife said that her legs were feeling better. By the time we made it to our first stop, her feet and legs were feeling OK. She still had some tingling in her feet but it wasn't bad and it was going away.

We know we have been walking a fine line lately with how much we are pushing my wife's body. My wife has been standing and walking a lot with our work. This week we have been at the Eastern New Mexico State Fair where we have been walking and standing most of the day. She knew her legs were becoming tired yesterday and had commented that they were sore from so much physical exertion. This morning was a wake up call that she needed to rest more. I could see the stress on her face this morning when she knew something was not right. I know it frustrates her to not be able to push through things like this and that she has to manage her life with her MS. I also know she is really struggling right now trying to make some decisions about how to better handle the work and personal loads she has placed on her.

Multiple Sclerosis doesn't care if you're busy or don't have time, it just attacks. Sometimes MS attacks without warning, but most of our experience has been with some specific trigger like stress, toxins, exercise or traumatic event. We know why she is having issues right now. We have been stressed lately, both physically and emotionally. She has pushed her legs everyday, and has been struggling with short bouts of insomnia. Just a few days of poor rest really seems to wreck her body and the MS just takes over. I know she didn't sleep well last night and when you add that to the physical stress of working long hours on her feet, it really shouldn't surprise either one of us that she is having leg and feet issues. We made the decision today to put off the 6 hour round trip to the Chiropractor, but we realize that she will have to rest and we will need to plan that trip later. Tonight her legs are back to normal and her feet have all the feeling back, but we both know that everything could change by morning. So goes life with MS.

Tingling Comes And Goes With MS

Toes tingling, feet tingling, leg tingling, arm tingling and that's just been in the last few days. My wife's MS seems to be acting up since she has completely worn herself out the last few weeks. Even with extra sleep during the mornings, she is still struggling to finish the day without having some tingling or pain in her legs or feet. Tonight she even had an odd pain in her ankle area right above the ankle bone. By the end of the day she has been limping and dragging one of her legs most of this last week. Tonight was no different, she came home dragging her left leg and having pain issues up and down her thigh. She just took a hot bath to relax her legs and it seems to have helped.

The tingling has come and gone with the amount of stress she has put on herself this last week. The more rest she gets, the less tingling and issues. The more stress, whether it is physical or emotional, the more tingling and issues she has. Yesterday was probably the worst I have seen her in a while. Her eyes showed it all. I have always been able to look at her eyes and tell how she is doing. Yesterday they looked bad and I immediately setup and appointment for a massage to try and relax her to see if that would help. It did help, and she was doing better last night. We have noticed that after a massage she can have some odd reactions. We are not sure if it the toxins that are stirred up during the massage or something else, but last night she was having chest pain which is usually a sign of low Potassium. By this morning she felt really great and her eyes looked much better.

One difference my wife commented about tonight was that her eyesight was very good when we were driving home. Normally she has problems seeing clearly at night and making out things in the distance. Tonight she was very excited about how well she could see and commented that she wishes it was like that all the time. I guess we will see if it is the same tomorrow. We feel like some of this may be from the massage and just relaxing. Yesterday was the first time we tried this particular massage therapist and we both feel like her massage technique has really helped. Her massage style was different than anything we have done, so we are very excited to find a method that seems to help. For tonight my wife is dealing with a little bit of pain and some tingling, but nothing major. After a good night's sleep I am sure she will be off to another day of overdoing and stress. I wouldn't expect anything else from her after fourteen years of marriage.

How Much Stress Does MS Put On Our Daughter

My wife and I chatted awhile today about how much our daughter has dealt with concerning my wife's Multiple Sclerosis. My wife was diagnosed with MS over 20 years ago and always wanted four children. We were blessed with one beautiful young lady who is twelve now, and has dealt with her mom's MS since birth. We have come to realize that my wife's MS has had a part in shaping the way my daughter views disease, the world and life in general. Even at twelve, she still doesn't understand all of it, but she is affected by it almost daily.

Right after we were married my wife and I spoke with Dr. Roy L Swank about how Multiple Sclerosis would affect pregnancy and us having a child. Dr. Swank explained that my wife could have a child and that we just needed to plan well for the birth, and for my wife to follow the Plasma protocol. The pregnancy went smoothly and the birth went without complications. We followed the Plasma protocol and my wife felt great during the first few months of having a newborn baby. She breastfed our daughter and went through all of the sleepless nights without any issues. I tried to give her time to rest as much as possible and she had limited issues during the first few years of our daughter's life.

The few issues she did have could be traced to specific circumstances. I don't know that our daughter experienced the first few years of her life any differently than any other family. Just like we do now, my wife tries to rest often, eat right and de-stress as much as possible. As our daughter moved into the third and fourth years of her life she probably noticed that mommy needed rest often and that we didn't participate in everything because it wasn't always the best timing. As I write this I can't think of anything in particular that would have left a large memory of the disease during those first years.

At five, our daughter had her first major experience with my wife's MS. My wife went numb from her chest down for over a month and our daughter actually remembers her mommy not being able to come to some of the school functions during that time. My wife couldn't walk or really even hold her during this time, so I was taking care of our daughter and her. I know that there were moments that my daughter was scared and didn't understand why mommy wasn't able to do normal things. She would ask some hard questions and I did my best to explain, but it never felt adequate. When my wife did get better and could walk again, you could tell a difference in our daughter. She had been holding stress through this whole time and that stress showed itself in all sorts of ways.

Since age five, our daughter has learned more about the disease and how it affects her mommy. She has expressed fear, anger, sadness, hurt, disappointment, hate and a range of other emotions concerning how MS has affected our family. There have been activities we have not participated in due to the disease and she knows it. Sometimes she becomes angry or jealous of her friends when we can't participate and sometimes it is hard for her to accept. She and I have had many daughter/daddy talks about how our attitude affects her mommy's health and sometimes I feel really bad about how much pressure that puts on her.

She is an AWESOME daughter and she has had to deal with some major struggles over the years. I can't imagine having to deal with those issues as a young man like she has. She has her moments when the stress of it all comes out and sometimes she will lash out at my wife. It is hard to watch, and it pains me to see the hurt on my wife's face when my daughter blows up on her, but she handles it so well. I asked my daughter to write a blog a little while back and she started writing about MS from her perspective. It was interesting to see how her young mind processes the disease. Not too long ago she asked the question I have dreaded from the beginning - "Will I have MS since mommy has MS?". That was a day full of a lot of praying that I would have the right words for her. Being a dad is hard enough, but try to explain a disease that no-one understands to a young girl that is worried she will also have it. It can make for some sleepless nights. I know that my wife's MS has caused some stress for our daughter and I pray that she will come to view MS as I do, a chance to bless our family and others.

Can't Remember With MS

This weekend we were able to travel to Ruidoso, NM, to enjoy a weekend away. The trip was great, but I am seeing signs of fatigue and emotional stress in my wife. Over the weekend I noticed my wife was not able to recall conversations we have had recently and had forgotten other details. This is not like her and has only happened a few times in our marriage. She normally has a rock solid memory and can recall details about events or activities that happened years ago. These moments of memory loss are far and few between, but when they do happen, it is frustrating and unpredictable.

The other part of her losing memories is her mind not functioning as normal. She goes through moments when she doesn't process information at the speed she normally would and I have to repeat myself for her to understand. Again, this is not everytime or everything, but sporadic and unpredictable. One conversation we had over the past few days I have had to repeat three or four times and I know it is driving my wife nuts to have to ask over and over again. She also has delayed hearing during these times. I will say something and she will ask me to repeat the information. By the time I start repeating the information, she has processed it and carries on the conversation. This can lead to some frustration on both of our parts.

We both know exactly why she is having the memory issues and the mental fatigue. When we moved, our whole lives were turned upside down. Everything from our finances to our schedule is unorganized. We have learned through the years that the more organized we are the more consistent my wife's health. When we are out of sorts like right now, she has more extreme emotions and more MS issues. Multiple Sclerosis is a strange disease in the way it attacks and affects the mind, but we do have some choices. From the beginning we have been told by Dr Swank to minimize our lives and de-stress them to help live a more normal life. We know this works, and after this weekend we realize that we are going to have to take some action quick or the problems are going to become worse.

MS Mood Swings

Crying, laughing, anger and joy are just part of our lives right now. We have recently taken a new position at a different Children's Home to allow for more time with our daughter, so our life is a little bit of a mess. To top it off, our daughter has been away from us for over a week now and it is killing my wife. They have an awesome relationship so it has been extremely hard for both of them to be apart. So we are trying to pack, watch our children's home kiddos, and keep our sanity without pushing ourselves too hard and trying to take care of my wife's health.

With all of the stress my wife's mood swings are full bore. She is laughing and joking one minute and about the blow up the next. Being away from our daughter has only stressed her out more, and when our daughter is struggling and crying on the phone, my wife just falls apart. I know it is bad when my wife starts crying uncontrollably from watching TV shows and having sympathy for the families that are struggling. The other night she watched the new John and Kate Plus 8 episode and was weepy for about any hour after it was over. She has watched this show from the beginning and she has such a huge heart for people that are hurting.

I don't know if Multiple Sclerosis causes mood swings or just how much it affects your emotions, but I know that when my wife is stressed and struggling, she has a very hard time controlling her emotions. That lack of control seems to be amplified when she is having MS issues. Today she visited the chiropractor because she knew she was out of alignment and was not sleeping very well. Her lower back was way out and the chiropractor used the Pro Adjuster to realign the places that were causing the issues. Many times after an adjustment my wife will feel very tired and need rest. Tonight she has been better emotionally but she laid down early to try and catch up on her sleep. It never ceases to amaze me how important it is to control stress, rest and keep her body aligned so that it can function properly. Once we get moved things will slow down for us, but for now we have to be vigilant about taking care of the things that are in our control, and mood swings seem to be a side effect of life being a mess.

Pain In The Hip

Have you ever had one of those days? A day where it seemed like things became progressively worse and completely overwhelmed and stressed you out. Today was definately one of those days. The last month has been a rollercoaster of emotions with our work, personal life and our future desires. My wife's MS is always playing a role in what we do and how we do it, and today is no different. We received a phone call from an apartment complex that was needing a reference for our renters. What? Why would our renters need a reference? They haven't turned in a notice or even said anything about moving. So, we called them and sure enough, they are moving out next month.

We live over 9 hours from our rental property so this added a ton of stress to an already stressful time in our lives. We have had to change our Easter plans, try to figure out how to get our house rented again, and hope that we will not have to figure out a way to pay our mortgage if we can't find a renter quickly. While my wife was on the phone with our renters, I could see her body stiffen and her demeanor change. As soon as she was off the phone, the emotions came gushing. We were already at a hightened state of emotions, so this just topped off the stressed out feeling. She began to physically hurt immediately after the call. Her whole body ached and she couldn't help but cry from the overflow of emotions and pain.

After a few minutes she started to gain more control over her emotions and we talked through what we were going to do and she began to explain the pain. During the first 30 minutes or so, her whole body was hurting. After that time she said it started to move out of the upper body and just hurt in her lower body. Her arms stopped hurting and her chest and torso stopped hurting, but her lower body was feeling even more pain now. After another hour or so her lower body stopped hurting all over and settled into her hip. Her left hip started hurting so bad that she was having a hard time standing or walking. If she shifted her left leg wrong, I could see the pain almost take her breath. Her left hip hurt like this the rest of the day and only lessened after some pain meds and laying down. She was OK by bed time, but it amazes me how one stressful phone call can cause such pain in her body.

Depression And Multiple Sclerosis

The last few weeks I have sat through training on depression and had a dear friend lose his wife to depression. I have also sat in the car for hours this week and had time to discuss this topic with my wife. It amazes me how depression can take over and control your life. I know that my wife's MS has led to depressed states and moodiness. Every once in awhile she allows her MS to get to her and I can see her slip into a depressed mood. I can usually catch it and help her to handle the emotions, but there have been times that I am clueless and she is dealing with issues that come out later.

For my wife the depression seems to come from the way MS messes with her life and the unknown of the future. The "what ifs" can grow at times whether it is out of frustration with her body not cooperating, or an attack, or if life is just giving her struggles. She worries about being a great mom, great wife and being able to feel like she has something to offer the family. When you add in the unknown of what her MS will do from day to day and sometimes minute to minute, it can really stress her out. She gets overwhelmed and then begins to sink into a depressed state. I know that there have been times when she feels like she is receiving more than giving, and my daughter and I have to reassure her and love on her for who she is.

Multiple Sclerosis is so inconsistent in the way it affects my wife, and at the same time the inconsistency is always consistent. The inconsistency stresses my wife out when she is wanting to accomplish a goal or is focused on a task or her work. Right now she is nervous about going back to school because she doesn't know how her memory will affect things or if her body will hold up while trying to juggle school, work and our family. I know she can do it and hate to see her stressed when we are all here supporting her. At one point in our marriage she gained 30 lbs in 6 months due to depression from the work environment we were in. Over the years, we have learned to recognize the signs of depression for my wife and then take immediate action.

My wife has commented over the years that we are very fortunate to have a relationship where we can be raw and real with each other. More than anything else, I really think this has helped to release emotions and feelings that my wife carries with her. I know that over the last year my wife and I have grown more aware of her tendencies and as we learn more about how her body is affected by MS, we have been able to take more control over emotional highs and lows. It is hard to work through our junk, but as we work through the mess she is able to find more peace in her life which directly affects her health. Depression is serious and MS adds a whole different element to the struggle, but we will continue to press into each other and God to find peace.

Tension In Life With MS

A few weeks ago we picked up a massage chair to see if it would help alleviate tension and stress in my wife's body. It has multiple settings and works your legs, feet, back and neck. We have used it often since acquiring it and I have seen a noticeable difference in my wife's tension in her shoulders and back. She carries a lot of her stress in her shoulder area, especially around her shoulder blades. When this tension increases, she usually will have a headache and feel tired.

A few years ago she would see a massage therapist weekly to relieve tension and stress. The massage therapist was phenomenal and helped my wife to feel better, have more energy and be able to live life more fully. We have tried to find another therapist with this skill and have not been able to do it. So we have tried other things and have been really surprised that the massage chair has helped as much as it has. We have wanted to buy one before but have not had the money. I even think that some doctors can give a prescription for the purchase of a chair to help with the costs, but we haven't been in a position to do it. We were fortunate because we didn't have to pay for the chair that we are using now.

Our family has had a very tension filled week, and we have spent a lot of time talking about where that tension is coming from and what we can do about it. Just with things that have happened this week we have been able to see that much of that tension comes from trying to control things we can't control, allowing ourselves to be controlled by outside influences, and generally allowing small things to matter more than they should. When we deal with these issues, we feel peace and feel the tension melt away. It always surprises me when I look back on stressful situations and see how much I have allowed those situations to control me. I have watched this week as my wife has let conversations roll off her back and how she hasn't allowed stress and tension to control her. She has been able to keep that tension and stress from causing her MS to flair.

As a spouse I can play a huge role in helping or hindering my wife's health. The better and stronger our relationship is, the more transparent we are and the less tension my wife feels she has to hold and keep to herself. In our marriage, I want to make sure she can talk to me about anything. For me that means that I need be an endless well of grace and mercy for her. She needs to feel safe, secure and know that I will love her no matter what. I have noticed that when I am not nurturing our relationship it can directly affect her health. We have so much to learn in our marriage and with our health, and this week has been real life experience in that journey.

How Much Stress Do We Bring On Ourselves?

This week has been an extremely tough week. We had to deal with co-worker issues, kiddo issues and then our dachshund had puppies but two of them didn't make it. So, we have had highs and lows this week and then my wife became sick from the food we at last night. She was up most of the night vomiting and trying to get some sleep. This week is also our week to have the young children on campus. They woke up this morning to new puppies, but now we have to explain to them about death and how two of the new puppies had to have a funeral today. Life is just full of ups and downs and sometimes a lot of them come at you in a short time frame.

With all the stress this week, my wife has had minimal MS issues. One night her legs ached a little from the emotional stress and physical stress of the young children we are taking care of. She was able to take a bath and with a good nights sleep she didn't have any other leg pain or issues. Through everything this week I have been so proud of my wife. She had very personal attacks on her ability to do the work we do, on her integrity, on her parenting, and on just about every other aspect of her life. All of this came from one co-worker that felt compelled to blame her for their life problems.

Now, we know that stress is a major enemy of good health whether you have MS or not. She has handled it so well this week and not let any of it affect her. Many years ago Dr. Swank told her that she would need to control stress in her life and be able to let things go. This week was a real challenge for this because of the personal nature of all the stress. My wife and I have spent a lot of time this week talking about how our actions today will directly affect the stress of the future. If we choose today to not confront issues with co-workers then we have to deal with the ramifications of that as it can fester and grow in us or them. If we choose today to gossip or talk about someone else then we have to deal with the backlash of things we said.

We made a personal vow to each other when we moved to the children's home to confront issues as they come and to keep things between us instead of gossiping or sharing our frustrations. This has proven to help this week because we have clear consciences about how we handled the situations and confrontations. It is so much easier to control stress when you don't bring that stress on yourself from your own actions. Our bosses know that we will bring any complaints or issues to them which has kept our relationship solid and respect from them. When you are "parenting" kids together with two other sets of house parents, it can be very fulfilling and frustrating. This week we have learned valuable life lessons from the confrontations and from the outcomes. We have made a commitment to learn from our experiences at the home, and this has been a great teaching tool. I know that we definitely bring some stress on ourselves, but we do have a choice whether we make good choices and can feel good about our actions or we make poor choices and create issues.

MS Headache Caused By Stress

Today was not a great day for my wife. Due to some circumstances at our workplace, my wife and I are both pretty stressed. When dealing with children ages 5-18, life can become very hectic and chaotic. When you add in the fact that we live in a community of three homes with three different styles of parenting and personalities it can become even more challenging. Today, my wife's emotional state and physical state couldn't handle the stress that was building in her body. Her head started to hurt mid afternoon and continued to worsen as the day went on.

Her headache peaked at supper time. She felt nauseous and finally had to lay down to help with the pain. She can even pinpoint the exact time that she let the stress get the better of her. She let something get to her that shouldn't, and within a few minutes she was in pain. My wife's MS has caused many issues through the years, but the headaches have to be one of the most frustrating. These MS stress headaches cause her so much pain that she usually has to sleep them off and many times we end up visiting the chiropractor to realign her body. She has been in bed since supper and she will need the rest to recoup from the stress her body is under.

I am not sure about other MS sufferers, but my wife's body is very sensitive to things. When she is adjusted by our chiropractor, she will feel the results immediately. When she allows stress to build, her body will react with headaches, nausea, numbness, vision issues, pain and many other symptoms. When she has physical trauma, it affects her whole body, not just the injured place. We can control many of these things, but many times they are out of our control. Today was one of those days, and again we are reminded how easily her body is affected by stress.

MS Magnifies Stressful Situation

Dr. Swank used to explain to us that a MS patient feels things more strongly than the average person. He said there would be times that my wife would feel things 10X stronger than me. This included emotional and physical things. MS seems to have a way to heighten the senses and my wife is no exception. Her MS has caused her to have cramps, stiffness, physical pain, emotional pain, mood swings, and a range of other feelings. Yesterday was the perfect example of this.

Working on a campus with kids all day can be stressful. We take care of all of their needs 24/7 and then have to deal with their parents, other staff, school etc. on any given day. We also have regular staff meetings with other personnel that are also responsible for children on our campus. In our weekly meeting, one of the houseparents was very frustrated about some issues on campus and proceeded to vent her frustration to one of our bosses. During this venting, I could visibly see my wife tense up. Her hands started to tighten into fists and I could see the stress start to work its way through her body. She was not involved in the venting or the problem, but just by sitting in the same room she became physically involved in the encounter.

At one point in the conversation she felt compelled to defend another staff on our campus without becoming personally involved in the issue. She explained herself well, but her hands were visibly shaking and I could see the stress in her eyes and body. The tension from being in the same room during this venting exhausted my wife. She was flush and physically hot during this time, and remained that way for some time after the meeting. I know that she "feels" things more strongly than I do, and this meeting left her physically and emotionally spent even though she was not the one in the conversation.

MS and stress do not go well together, and we are reminded of this often. Our Chiropractor pointed out that one way he knows where our body is out of whack is by the physical indicators. He pointed out that our skin temperature, skin blemishes and other factors can easily tell him where the problems are occurring. He was able to show me on my wife's back where she was out of alignment and then show me the blemishes right at the problem area. It really was very fascinating. Stress manifests itself in so many strange ways and MS seems to magnify it. Just being in the room with a stressful situation can wear out my wife, and this particular event went on for maybe twenty minutes. We hope that the next staff meeting isn't quite so "exciting".

Multiple Sclerosis And Emotions Pt 2

After about four hours of crying, my wife finally managed to get her emotions under control. This was day one of a class we were taking to better understand how children handle emotions and what causes them to act out. That first night my wife and I were exhausted from crying, feeling and just processing everything that was going on around us. We had shared very deep feelings with each other that were all from the gut and were causing both of us fear and pain. We didn't really understand it at the time, but I think we may have found a way to better control our fears and anxiety.

Multiple Sclerosis attacks seem to be brought on by stress and other situations in life. We can pinpoint a physical stress or emotional stress for every attack my wife has ever had. We have also been able to prevent attacks by knowing that certain things would only stress her out more and cause more MS issues. The second day of class was one of the first times that I have ever seen my wife at total peace. We had gone through a very rough few hours in day one and I honestly wasn't looking forward to what we would face in day 2 of the training. We walked through the door to find that we had one more time on the mat to dig deep and let out any fears or feelings we had. My wife went first and I had noticed that she hadn't cried all morning. She cried a little when one of the other participants was sharing and it really touched her heart, but she hadn't cried for herself at all.

When you lay down on the mat to share, your partner supports you both physically and emotionally. We had been laying face to face for about 5 minutes when my wife looked at me and said that she didn't have anything she needed to say. She was at total peace with herself and her life. WOW!!!! I don't know that I have ever seen her that way before. There were no tears and no strong emotions and her body was completely relaxed. We laid there for another 10 minutes just talking about the peaceful feeling she had and how that was affecting her. The weird thing is that I have always been able to look at her eyes and tell you how she was feeling. I could tell if she was hiding anything or holding anything back, and there wasn't anything there. She really was at peace.

Now, that really made me think about her Multiple Sclerosis and healing her body. How would her MS do if she was at peace most of the time? How would her body react to feelings of no stress? Could she progress in the healing of her disease and go longer periods without any problems? Could she contain her emotions better? All of these questions were bouncing around in my brain as I watched her calmness and peace. Healing Multiple Sclerosis is not an easy task, and there are a lot of people out there that are treating Multiple Sclerosis daily that don't seem to know a thing about the disease other than what is in a textbook. I think we found a technique that we can use to truly help heal my wife's MS by eliminating most of the emotional stress in her body. We are going to continue to practice the techniques we learned and if nothing else, it will make my wife at peace. There isn't a whole lot of peace in the life of Multiple Sclerosis, but there will be in our home from now on. I would challenge anyone with MS to try to decrease stress in their lives, and if your brave enough, to get on the mat and see how much your body reacts to all of the stuff you're holding inside.

Multiple Sclerosis And Emotions

My wife has always been emotional. She has cried at the oddest things over the years and has grown angry over things that I wouldn't think really mattered. Mood swings have been a fairly common thing in our marriage, and last week we learned a lot about how the body is affected by those moods. We attended a training for our job to help troubled children with their emotions. The thought process behind the class had to do with a child acting out because they have no other way of processing their feelings. Little did I know that I was doing a horrible job of processing my own feelings.

My wife and I entered the class with some apprehension. There were mattresses in the corner and a group of about 30 other house parents in the room. We knew the class was supposed to help us with children that were suffering from attachement disorders and other disorders that they faced. We spent some time studying how the human brain handles stress and fear and how our bodies are affected by these feelings. I have always known that my wife's emotions and feelings really affected her physically, but I had never seen a presentation like this. We realized in the morning session that our bodies can give off all sorts of indicators that we are stressed, and that we affect the emotions and feelings of everyone around us through our physical actions and movements. Almost as if we give off a subconcious vibe to everyone around us that their subconcious reacts to. Sounds a little weird right?

That afternoon we soon found out exactly what the teacher was trying to get us to understand. Each one of us was placed in a group with a mattress. We then went through a breathing exercise designed to open up our lungs and allow us to feel what was going on in our body. After the breathing exercises we each took turns on the mattress telling a story from our childhood. I found myself lying on the mat telling my story and then I felt a lot of heat radiating from my face. One of the instructions we had been given was to find how our body reacted to the story, so I told the instructor and he also felt the heat. Over the next few hours we were shocked as each person shared about their lives and we could literally feel the heat or other reactions that their bodies were going through.

This was an eye opening experience for my wife and I. I had always known that her Multiple Sclerosis was affected by stress but what I didn't realize was how affected my body was by stress. I had physical hot spots and pain when dealing with some of those feelings. We spent the next day and a half getting in touch with gut level feelings and experiencing how our bodies, minds and others around us felt after these times on the mat. I honestly understand now why stress is causing my wife so many issues. Dr. Swank always told us that one of the first things you had to do if you had MS was to control the stresses in your life. I think I more fully understand that now. My wife's emotions usually come flooding out in crying or anger, and her body is usually punished for it. Sometimes she will lose some feeling or become very fatigued after a stressful situation and then she has to rest for a few days to get it under control. The first day we were in class my wife cried and cried and cried. She explains it as if her body is leaking the tears out because she can't stop them. This was only day one, so we had no idea how she would be affected later.

Stress and MS

I have been reading some new material by the Rocky Mountain MS Center that we received when we went to visit them. One of the books is a collaboration of multiple doctors that is supposed to be a field guide to Multiple Sclerosis. The first of the book went through the usual explanation of what MS supposedly is and how it affects the body, then they go into different treatments and theories behind what you can do about MS. As I was reading through it, one paragraph really caught my eye. The authors were talking about how stress affects MS and if you could bring on an attack by too much work, stress, exercise etc. Their conclusion was that even though many MS patients and their "supporters" believe that these things directly affect their MS, the doctors didn't believe that MS could be aggravated by those things.

I almost put the book down! For the last 12 years I have watched as stress, exercise, work, child rearing, etc. has caused numbness, fatigue, visual issues, tingling, bladder issues and a host of other symptoms. How do I know that these things caused the attack? I watched every step of the way, and at this point in our marriage, I can tell you the progression of how it affects her. For instance, a few years ago she began to exercise regularly so that she could run a marathon. A few months went by without any problem and things seemed to be going well. One day she woke up with numbness in her side and her body began a downhill slide for well over a month. I have story after story of her having an attack because of physical and emotional stresses.

Dr. Swank used to tell us that we had to make sure my wife rested everyday and would recommend laying down for at least an hour a day. I have watched as family stress has brought on physical pain in my wife. My wife is very emotional and when she gets upset, it can cause her to physically hurt and to sob uncontrollably. Movies can make her tense and make her body tighten up and hurt. To this day, she will do other things while we are watching a movie so that she doesn't get too involved in the action or suspense. I have watched her have muscle spasms and leg pain from walking too much or from stressing out at Christmas time in the mall. I have felt the knots and tightness in her neck and shoulders after a stressful day that will often lead to numbness or tingling in her arms and hands. I have watched her loose her eyesight after a stressful activity like rock climbing.

I am not sure where these doctors came up with this theory, but apparently none of them have MS or have someone with MS in their immediate family. It is so hard to watch the newly diagnosed MS patient walk into a neurologist office to be told these types of things. Do we have all of the answers? No. But, we have figured out how to keep my wife functioning at a very high level and living a good life. She just walked into our office a minute ago, and she looks great! She had some numbness earlier this week, but we were able to make it go away with chiropractic and rest. Today, she is working on her new desk she bought, just enjoying the challenges of owning her own business. I guess I wonder where we would be if we listened to all of the "MS specialists", Neurologists, MD's and other doctors that wanted her on the MS drugs and steroids. I feel like I know what our lives would be like. We would be stressed out about how to pay for the drugs, my wife would be messed up from the side effects of the drugs, and she would probably be in a wheelchair by now. That seems to be the course we have seen from others around us that have taken that route. Not all of them have turned out that way, but a majority have. I am just not convinced that in a majority of these cases, they could have dieted better, taken supplements, done other alternative care and had a better life without all of the side effects caused by the MS drugs.

Her mom took that route and has been in a wheelchair most of her life. She is completely crippled up at this point, barely able to function. Yeah, MS won't kill you, but it will take your life away. I wish we could help her, but she is adamant about doing things the MS doctor way, so we have to sit and watch as she gets worse each year. To anyone out there that has MS, I would say educate yourself. Listen to your body and make informed decisions based on your bodies needs, not on what the drug companies tell you. Make sure you don't discount the affects a good diet and supplement program can have, and never ever discount the affects alternative health care can have. We have been blessed in our lives to find good doctors that are more interested in helping figure out what is causing the problem than giving a drug to help with a symptom. Can stress cause MS attacks? In our experience, I would have to say YES!

Ups and Downs of MS

For most of my life I have been a mountain top and valley kind of person. I don't seem to ever be in the middle, where everything is just OK. My wife is kinda that way too, and we seem to either be 100% or nothing at all. We are not status quo kinda people, and when you deal with MS, you can have ups, downs and sideways on a daily basis. Right now we are going through one of those sideways times where we are just overwhelmed with life.

Her health has been all over the place lately. Some days she wakes up and feels great and others she wakes up and feels like garbage. Yesterday she woke up with her right side feeling very heavy and tingling in some places. I think it all started with a really bad headache Saturday night, and her body decided to give up on her yesterday. She slept for about 10 hours yesterday, and recovered some, but she will need to go to the chiropractor today to make sure her body doesn't keep going numb. Stress is high right now which is not good for MS patients, and her business is taking off more than we expected which has added a lot of pressure.

So, we find ourselves at a crossroads with her business, her MS, and our other life stuff. We could easily push her business into a very profitable operation, but at what expense? I think this is definitely one of the most frustrating parts of Multiple Sclerosis for me. When things start to go good in certain parts of your life, the disease seems to put a cramp in it, and since we are 100% type of people it really frustrates us. She has an interview today for a new employee, but if we hire someone then we have to press on and grow the business. If we don't hire someone then we have to scale back so that there is not as much pressure on her. It really is a good problem to have, but it is not an easy decision to make.

One of the hardest parts of living in the highs and lows is contentment. I am very rarely content with anything. I think that is why I have been successful at helping small businesses grow and become profitable. I see the problems and know that it can be better, and then I just figure out how to do it. It doesn't seem hard to me, and once I have it on the right track and figured out, I get bored and want to move on. I guess in some ways I have treated my wife's MS the same way. I have done the research, figured out what we need to do for optimal health, and we have done those things for certain times in our lives. The problems comes in long term. Once she starts to get better and life smooths out, I get bored with it and decide we need to do something new and of course more stressful. Not good for MS!

So, today seems to be starting out as a "up" day, but we will see. This week is like all of the others, it is already packed full of stuff and I am not excited about much of any of it. My wife's health will probably be all over the place this week since she has so many things going on, and we will buckle down and do what needs to be done for her to live a normal life. If we would only do those things more consistently, then we could live at a higher level of health and success than what we are. I guess that is why the largest section in the book store is self help. Everyone is struggling with these things whether they have MS or not, and most of us are trying to find that elusive side of the mountain where things are OK.

MS may stand for Mood Swings

Multiple Sclerosis attacks every area of your life. It affects your daily life, your work life, your family life and your spiritual life. It doesn't seem to have any boundaries and no remorse for what it does or how it does it. As a husband, I am always watching to see how my wife is doing. Her MS is sometimes very sneaky in how it works itself out in her life. For instance, she will start to develop knots in your shoulder muscles that are aggravating but not anything too bad. Over a few days those knots can develop into major pain and severe headaches. With all of the physical issues of MS, no wonder my wife has mood swings.

When my wife is having MS problems, it can manifest itself in a lot of ways. One way that it usually comes out is her need to cry. She will cry at puppy commercials and pretty flowers and anything else that remotely touches her heart. I know it frustrates her to no end because once she starts crying, she has an extremely hard time stopping. I guess I have gotten used to it now, but it seems so make other people nervous when she starts crying for no apparent reason. We have sat in teachers meetings for our daughter and my wife just can't help but cry due to the subject of our daughter. It embarrasses her and frustrates her, and I feel helpless watching her body expressing everything built up inside of her.

Along with the crying can come other emotions, like anger or joy or excitement. As a young girl, my wife hated surprises. She would have to know what she was getting for Christmas or her birthday, and she really hated to be startled. I have heard that a Multiple Sclerosis patient feels everything a normal person would feel at 10X the intensity. I know for my wife that more often than not, this rule applies. Early on in our marriage I would playfully chase her around the house. One day very early on, I caught her on an emotional day and she was in a great mood until I chased her. All of the sudden she fell to the ground in a ball just crying and asking me to stop. I had no idea what was going on, but I quickly found out that she didn't like to be chased or startled or surprised. It physically hurt her.

I don't know that I understand the physical hurt, but she feels things so differently than I do. The intensity, and the extent of the feelings she has are so much more powerful than what I feel. Sometimes her moods swing so much that I am not sure what to do, but I have learned that many times she doesn't even realize that it is happening. To be honest, I really love the fact that she cries when something touches her heart, or she feels so strongly about something. Back when we would go see Dr. Swank, he described MS patients as one of the most alive patients he had ever treated. He would say that they were vibrant and full of life and beautiful. I can attest to that. My wife is vibrant, beautiful and full of life like no other woman I have met. MS may stand for mood swings sometimes, but I am OK with that. It also stands for my sweetheart.