Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Forgiving with Multiple Sclerosis

My wife and I joke all the time that she is a very forgiving person, which she really is, but our joke has to do with her lack of memory. We were having a conversation the other day and I brought up something that she had been upset with me about, and she had to ask me when it had happened. She didn't remember any of it, and this is a very common occurance. She and I will have a disagreement and within a few hours, she has completely forgotten about it. I have noticed that this happens more often when she is stressed, and it has seemed to happen a lot lately. I can tell when her memory is slipping because she will forget simple things that normally she is very good about remembering. It definatley makes for some interesting disagreements because she will get fired up about something, then totally forget it within a short amount of time. Some of this is probably her ADD. She always struggles to stay focused, and I know that is one of the reasons she forgets so easily, but I also know that her memory comes and goes depending on how she is doing physically and emotionally.

I am not sure how much of all of this is MS, or if any of it is MS, but I know from some of the studies being put out right now about CCSVI that there are some major issues that can result from the blood flow being restricted. I read a study the other day talking about how the blood going into the brain is actually cooled down before it enters, and how the blood flow affects how our bodies deals with temperature changes and all sorts of other issues. I want to write more about this later, but for now, I guess I am just curious if anyone else out there is struggling with memory issues. Multiple Sclerosis affects so many different areas of your life, and this is one that has helped my wife in some ways. Because she forgets some things so easily, it actually lessens the stress on her body and she forgives very easily. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some things that she never forgets and she definately reminds me of some of those on a regular basis. :) She really is an amazing woman that is truly forgiving and is always trying to make the right decision, no matter how hard that is on her. Dr Swank used to talk about how amazing the MS patients were that he treated, and I would have to agree that I have an amazing MS woman!


Brandi said...

Corey, Jordan (my hubby) and I have noticed I have memory difficulties...a lot. I forget conversations that are pretty important; I forget little things like, for instance, "I just had my where is it? Come to think of it, where was I going to have to have my keys?" When I'm driving I'll sometimes forget where I'm going! I've actually had to call Jo and ask him, "Where did I say I was going?" When I was first dx,(and when I'm having a flareup) my memory ran out the door. I've given my family permission to have fun with MS; I can't be so uptight about it or I'll go nuts! Anyway, they like to joke and tell me things I did but I didn't just to make me think I've forgotten! LOL! My memory loss can be funny, but sometimes, very frustrating. I've always had the memory of an elephant before now. I had a conversation with my BFF the other day about the current flareup I'm having. I can't remember anything that was said. In fact, I don't remember having the conversation. It scared me when she reminded me because I was in such a dark emotional state when we had the conversation in the first place. My temper flares as well. I've blown up on Jordan several times not meaning to. I know it's tough for him but, and I say this to you as well because I'm pretty sure your wife feels the same, if it weren't for my husband that God has so richly and graciously blessed me with, I don't know where I'd be with this disease. He's pretty perfect and such an answer to prayer. Anyway, enough sap. LOL! To answer your question, yes, I too have memory issues.

Cory said...

Hey Brandi, thanks for the honesty and thanks for sharing your struggles and joys. I know it drives my wife nuts when she knows here mind isn't working right, but there is nothing she can do at the time so she just has to deal with those moments. That's funny about your family, and we've done the same thing with my wife. My daughter is the worst about trying to trick my wife, and it's a game between them. Thanks for sharing about your husband. I know I try so hard, but many times feel like I'm failing her as a support and mate. He is very lucky to have a wife that sees how important he is, because I know it means the world to me when my wife tells me how much she appreciates me trying to help. Thanks for the laugh and thanks for the comment.

Cazbrit said...

Hi Cory, I have just found your Blog and Im reading this from the UK.

I too have MS and have been coping with it since I was 19. I recognise a lot of things in here that I have never attributed to my MS, Mood swings and memory loss.
Its nice to have an answer to these things, it also means that my husband can understand that its not me going crazy as I cant remember where the keys are or I can't watch a soap episode without sitting there in tears, that there is a another reason.

I too have always had pride in my memory, from being very young I have always been able to remember such fine detail. The fact that I am losing this ability makes me very frustrated. But not longer after the frustration goes away and I forget why I was cross! lol, good points and bad point I suppose.